about the book

If relationships were easy, everyone who wanted one would have one. There would be a 0% divorce rate. Couple's therapy would not exist. A book like this would be completely unnecessary. And, we would all be happily connected to another person. 

But in reality, relationships are not easy. They're actually really difficult. From honing your ability to engage in effective conflict about who’s turn it is to do the dishes, to figuring out how to balance your work life with your home life, to crafting messages that skillfully reveal your deepest darkest secrets (without embarrassing anyone involved), trying to make a relationship succeed can be exceedingly exhausting and overwhelming.

The good news is that researchers from all over the world have dedicated their lives to questioning, identifying, and empirically testing a wide variety of behaviors that have the potential to either help or hinder your ability to experience a long-lasting, loving, happy bond with another human being. These include routine behaviors like kissing your partner goodbye in the morning, behaviors that require some skill like providing emotional support to your partner in his or her time of need, and behaviors that you may not initially consider to be effective like learning how to complain instead of criticize. All of these actions and many more have been recognized as relationship maintenance and intensification behaviors.

Whether you feel like your relationship is perfectly fine, needs a little assistance, or is on its last leg, this book can help you. Think of it like an instruction manual; you can always use it to trouble-shoot problems, but even when everything seems to be working okay, you can read about how to keep your relationship interesting and strengthen it further. In the end, my hope is that you can turn to this book whenever your relationship needs a little pick-me-up, you want some romantic ideas about what to do over the weekend, or you need help repairing some serious damage.

Like I said, relationships are hard work; they don’t just maintain themselves. So, even if you feel like your relationship is good-to-go, learning about and implementing some of these behaviors into your daily life can definitely intensify your seemingly perfect romance.

While each chapter can clearly stand alone as an individual piece of advice about a certain relationship-boosting technique, behavior, or activity, you’ll find the greatest positive impact on your relationship when you collectively apply all of the advice found in this book to your own life.

From the mundane to the extraordinary, this book focuses on a variety of research-based behaviors that have been deemed vital to healthy relationships. With insightful quotes from individuals already in successful relationships and practical ideas for enacting the advice provided scattered through out, the research-based love tips will become more meaningful.

I just hope that you can enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.